Great Quotes Page
"I am not going to repeat what I am about to say. I repeat, I am not going to repeat what I am about to say." (Mr. Ranoschy, when giving us the instructions for completing out VUAC forms) - Thanks Perry
"Be reasonable, do it my way" - Stan Watt
"Where are my glasses, where are my glasses" - Dr Randa frantically searching for his glasses which were on top of his head
".....Ridiculous" (or there was another quote Elizabeth will remember!) - Mr Baker
"Strizyg, Stryzyg whatever your flippin name is" - Mr Jagger
"Keller ... if you had a brain you'd be dangerous" - Mrs Smith, maths teacher
"Yeeeesssss" - Mr Fergus (sorry I may have left off another "e"!!)
"Rubbish to Rubbish" - Mr Rubinstein to Stephen Lubofsky after sending him to the corner rubbish bin for disturbing the class, followed by "This is my eldest" Rabbi Lubofsky to the Chief Rabbi of Rumania (and Mr Ranoschy) as he walked into the classroom a few minutes later, pointing to Stephen standing in the bin.
Mr Tarsus (?) psychotic Hebrew teacher:
"Freeze we have you surrounded" on a megaphone while he was alone at the top of
the hill at the back of the Skolnick oval to me, Eric Kornhauser and I believe
Joe Nebyl. - John Gerszt
"Shut up Charles!" "It's Raymond sir." "I don't care Chaaaaaarles!" - Mr Baker
"The B in my name stands for Bananas, Bananas McDowell" after asking him what his first name is. We didn't let him forget it!!
"The butcher shop is open and the salami is hanging out" Mr DeRauch (sports teacher)
Mr Barnard had observed Gabrielle and Isabelle copying my test but waited until he handed out the results to let them know they had been caught by saying ..."Sue very good, 8 out of 10, Gabrielle and Isabelle good copying 4 out of 10 each". - Sue Fischer
"When I speak, nobody else will speak. When any one of you speaks, nobody else will speak, including myself. When you are working on exercises in class you may speak quietly with your neighbour. If the noise level rises too high, I will withdraw this permission to talk." - Mr Hirst
"Put a yamuka on your watermelon." Mr Rubinstein
"Have some respect for your religion" - Alan Golobeck, in full cadet uniform, banging the Bimah with his rifle butt as we ate lunches in the synagogue.
And now a Series of Quotes (to the end of the page) submitted by Fred Tryster
"Kornhauser shut up!" Alan Golobeck, as often as the previous quote.
"Matriculation students come back and say "Thank you, Mrs Fish, for teaching us 'I you he she it, we you they. Me you him her it, us you them'" - Mrs Fish.
"I am a kind, sweet, gentle, lovable, handsome young man" - Mr Hayes, almost every lesson.
"Mumble mumble mumble mumble" - Mr Berns as we said morning prayer.
"Shut your G-d-damned mouths" - Mr Berns.
"Don't be so damned dumb" - Mr Berns.
"It's almost foolproof, and that's where you come in" - Mr Noonan.
"If you have one port, you need two ports, and if you have two ports, you need water between them" - Mr Barnard.
"One gets to be a Big Man on account of one's bravery, size - here you are Hendel - and wealth" - Mr Barnard, on the system of government in New Guinea.
"If there were no laws, Gross would belt Hendel, and Hendel would squash Gross" - Mr Barnard, on a related topic.
"I'll bloody murder you Tryster" - Mr Barnard, when he discovered I was writing down his jokes.
"Rotundity" - Dr Gordon's name for Tank.
"No, no, no, you are wrong" - Mrs Healy. And she was usually right.
Student in Miss Pawlak's class: "Who were great mathematicians?"
Israel Slonim: "Mrs Trende".
Student: "No, I mean great mathematicians long ago".
Israel: "Mrs Trende".
"Maharajah!" - Gary Spicer, bowing low in gratitude to Mrs Hirsch, because she didn't give him a new punishment for not handing in his old punishment.
"Mr Adin, I demand to see your teaching certificate!" - Stephen Lubofsky.
"This is a very dangerous experiment... Dr Gordon is older than I am, and doesn't have as much to live for. I'll let him do the experiment". - Mr Berns.
"Men are Very Dirty" - Mr Noonan's way of remembering that mass = volume x density.
"Form 4 is 4 times harder than form 3, form 5 is 4 times harder than form 4, and form 6 is 4 times harder than form 5" - Mr Jagger.
"The good L-rd gave everyone a different number of grains of sporting ability - he got one grain, you got five, I got ninety thousand" - Mr Hoare, preaching tolerance for the physically challenged.
"George" - Mr Watt, when asked what to call the double angle formulas he had just taught us.
"All right, get your books open, hurry it up" - Mr Watt, start of every lesson.
"All right, pack it up" - Mr Watt, end of every lesson.
"We've lost a teacher and gained a subject" - Christopher Haralampou, when Mr Healey left and Mr Watt took over the maths class.
"Farmyard manners!" - Mrs Jaugeitis, every lesson.
"Mrs Jaugeitis told the other class to write a play about protozoa. We'll probably have to write an opera" - Christopher Haralampou.
"Shut up, I'm asking a queerie!" - David Hendel requesting quiet while he asked a query of Mr Mackinlay.
Fred Tryster to Mr Feige: "Where do you come from?
Mr Feige: "I come from my mother's womb".
Fred: "What country was your mother's womb in when you came out of it?"
Mr Feige: "Poland".
"Hoo yeled ra" - several girls introducing Michael Hirsch to a new Hebrew teacher. Very unfair of them, I thought.
"Ani lalechet leveit hakuk" - Michael Hirsch trying to use the Hebrew word for toilet he just learned, but forgetting it in mid-sentence.
"It took me 2 minutes to do that project, and you ripped it up in 1 minute 59 seconds" - Henry Krum to Jacob Dessauer, about one of those primary school projects on a big sheet of cardboard.
Mr Hayes, in
the first lesson of the year: "When does this period finish?"
Maurice Kalkopf: "When the bell goes".
Mr Hayes reprimanded him severely for this cheeky answer, then added: "But
I still love you".
"It's our heads on the chopping block" - Miss Pelz, on behalf of herself and Mr Baker, expressing confidence that the Form 1 participants in the Baron Snyder competition will not say anything too embarrassing.
"Practice your French at home, but that doesn't mean you should say 'Bonjour la vache' when your mother opens the door" - Mrs Elsner.
"If he were a porcupine he'd be prickling himself. He's so confused, his prickles would be inside out, stuck into him" - Mr Barnard about Perry Zamek.
"This is what you have to do in your pea-like little brains" - Mr Barnard
Tank: "Hey,
Schwarz!"
Elizabeth: "My name is not Schwarz!"
Tank: "All right - SCHVAAARZ!"
"Have you ever seen a My walking around the room?" - Mrs Fish to a student who thought the word 'my' was a noun.
"I was dux of the teachers' college" - Mrs Fish reminding us of our good fortune to have her as our teacher.
"Good afternoon and thank you, Mrs Fish" - the greeting we were expected to give at the end of every day while tipping our caps.
"Only half!" - Irving's Birch's estimate of his fair share of the chocolate I had just received from Mr Kenny for getting 6 school stamps.
"It's OK if you give it up by the time you're 21" - Sam Hipsz on smoking, overheard in the toilet.
"I can throw the average first former six feet. I'll throw you four" - substitute teacher Mr Sidey to David Hendel (or was it Tank?)
"Always put something down on the test. If you write nothing, you know your mark - a big, fat, all-round, juicy nought" - Mr Hayes.
"Dear Mr Examiner, I paid no attention in class and don't know the answer. Please give me 100%" - Mr Hayes, illustrating an exam answer that might not work.
"Havoc!" - probably heard by all classes in the building, the ear-splitting climax to Mr Hayes' recital of Mark Antony's 22-line monologue after the murder of Julius Caesar.
"I wonder what they were" - Mr Hayes about the obscene words Toad yelled while being dragged away by his friends in The Wind in the Willows.
"You failed miserably" - Miss Starling to Fred Tryster before handing back tests, just to see the reaction before admitting it was a joke.
"Why are you such a conformist?" - Jerry Gelb asking Fred Tryster why he was one of the few students still coming to school in uniform.
"You're an idiot!" - Brenda Dobia testing Mr Haham's presumed lack of knowledge of English. Mr Haham didn't react, probably because there was too much noise in the classroom for him to hear the insult. When I told someone in another class about this incident, the reply was, "That's nothing. We call him a bastard".
"Give your tongues a rest and your ears a treat" - Mr Morgan.
"Glad you could make it" - Mr Berns to students who arrived late.
"Are you normal?" - Tank and friends, pretending to have one continuous arm by putting each hand into the opposite sleeve of their jumpers.
"As long as it's not operated by Joey Lipszyc" - Geoffrey Markov, on the suggestion to install a drink dispensing machine in the Matric Centre.
If you wish to add any quotes to this page, please email the webmaster who will then incorporate this information